The Dillinger Escape Plan - Ire Works review

Release Date: 11/13/2007

Label: Relapse

The Dillinger Escape Plan have always been a very unique band. They were the originators of mathcore, a style of metalcore recognized for a high level of technical musicianship, odd time signatures and unusual song structures. Though this may not be reason enough for people to pay them any attention, I assure you that any attention they receive is defiantly earned.

The Dillinger Escape Plan’s last album, “Miss Machine” was a huge breakthrough for the quintet but was seriously shunned by a vast majority of their long time followers. Despite the fact that “Miss Machine” was receiving five star reviews everywhere anyone was to look, fans still thought of this album as a much more watered down version of what once was. “Miss Machine” added an element to The Dillinger Escape Plan which was never their before, and that was singing. Don’t get me wrong, “Miss Machine” isn’t the kind of album you can play at the local bingo hall on senior citizens night. It’s brutal, complex and often very hard on the ears. But it’s the moments of beauty behind the madness, the contrast of beautiful and ugly that made this album so amazing.

Three years later The Dillinger Escape Plan releases their third full length album, “Ire Works”. Let me tell you, if the fans hated “Miss Machine” they are not going to be overly ecstatic about this album either. “Ire Works” is a huge step forward for The Dillinger Escape Plan. Not only does it flow in much the same vein as “Miss Machine” but it improves the formula.

Hardcore DEP is still here but the melodic aspects of “Ire Works” are absolutely amazing. This is a band that knows what they are doing, knows what they want to write and couldn’t give a damn about anyone who says it’s not what they were expecting. There is a much wider range of musical influences present on “Ire Works” than anything DEP have previously done. Therefore this album is likely to see DEP’s popularity rise once again as new fans are introduced to their unique sound. It’s time for the crying fans to except the fact that The Dillenger Escape Plan have progressed and for the better!

Rating: 5/5
Choice Lyric: “Your heart was trying to bleed and you're taking the right road if you're talking to me”
Download: Milk Lizard, Mouth Of Ghosts
Random Trivia: Their name is a reference to famous bank robber John Dillinger.

Avenged Sevenfold - Avenged Sevenfold review

Release Date: 30/10/2007

Label: Warner Bros. Records

I’ve been eagerly awaiting this album for some time now. Avenged Sevenfold have to be one of my favorite bands, and what they have done for the hard rock and metal scene of late is astounding. Sure, they have their haters! Of course they do! They were on MTV, which is a huge demerit considering they are essentially a metal band. Right? No…being popular is no reason to hate something. Metal deserves to be heard and Avenged Sevenfold are taking it to the masses!

This album is outstanding! Not only will it kick your ass all over the room but it can bring you to tears with its beautiful melodies. Avenged Sevenfold have shown some amazing growth, even more so than they showed on ‘City Of Evil’. This album really proves the talent and musicianship these guys have and it’s a sorely desired trait for a metal band to have these days.

Of course, with their popularity this album is going to raise further debate between Avenged Sevenfold’s own fans! The ones who call themselves fans but really only enjoy “Waking The Fallen”. “City Of Evil” fans will love this album while “Waking The Fallen” fans may be just as disappointed with this album as they were with the previous one. I for one love every Avenged Sevenfold album! Yes their sound has changed a bit since “Sounding The Seventh Trumpet” but its changed for the better! Their song writing has defiantly improved, now they have a broader style. Not just limiting themselves to playing heavy all the time.

So go out and buy this album. Support Avenged Sevenfold. Make them more popular! Give them more people who hate them!

Rating: 5/5
Choice Lyric: “Shh be quiet, you might piss somebody off!”
Download: A Little Piece Of Heaven, Afterlife, Dear God

Random Trivia: The album was delayed by two weeks in order to provide more time to complete bonus material and production for the record.

Alter Bridge - Blackbird review

Release Date: 10/09/2007

Label: Universal Republic Records

Alter Bridge are back with album number two…but does it deserve your attention?

I would say that minor attention is deserved. The fact is, if you liked “One Day Remains” you will probably like “Blackbird” too. Most of the songs are attacked in much the same way….although one could say this album is slightly (very slightly) heavier than their previous effort. Still, “Blackbird” rarely offers anything new to the ears. It’s the same thing Alter Bridge have been doing since “One Day Remains” which is also very similar to the thing Creed was doing before them.

So whilst listening to “Blackbird”, yes there might be a cool guitar solo there…and yes Myles Kennedy can sing some pretty amazing notes….but where’s the progress? Improve the sound! Grow!

The biggest letdown on “Blackbird”, or any Alter Bridge album, is always going to be the ballads. If there was a book called “How to write predictable soft-rock ballads for depressed teenagers with no hope for future happiness, who still live at home in the basement of their newly divorced mothers house while she constantly invites over new men, referring to them only as ‘Uncle Ted’ or ‘Uncle Susan’…For Dummies” then this would be Alter Bridge’s bible! Yes they are emotional and somewhat beautiful….but they are stale and boring…like old crackers.

All in all, if you liked “One Day Remains” then go out and buy “Blackbird”. You’ll feel exactly the same afterwards!

Oh by the way….this might be the first review of an Alter Bridge album that doesn’t mention Scott Stapp and his crappy vocals. Well…it was before I wrote that sentence…….shit!

Rating: 3/5
Choice Lyric: “The damned are done believing”
Download: Ties That Bind, Come To Life

Random Trivia: The name Alter Bridge comes from a bridge on Alter Road, close to Mark Tremonti's childhood home.

Devon Townsend - Ziltoid The Omniscient review

Release Date: 05/21/2007

Label: Hevy Devy Records

What the shit is this? In the simplest explanation I can possibly write this would be a concept album from Devon Townsend (Strapping Young Lad) about a guitar playing alien arriving on Earth in search of the perfect cup of coffee. So you know…the usual kind of thing. I haven’t really heard anything like this before. In fact, one could say this is one of the most elaborate concept albums of all time…even if the story is kind of lame.

Devon Townsend takes care of all the writing, production and mixing as well as playing all instruments…besides the drums which he did program! The funny thing is, as lame as I thought this album was going to be it actual works! While the story may be a joke the music side of it certainly is not. Devon combines elements of all his previous work creating an album which at times can be brutally heavy while still leaving moments of beautiful atmospheric melody. All the songs fit together perfectly and along with the included booklet it’s quite easy to be sucked in with the story. Also, top marks must be given to Mr Townsend for creating a concept album with a surprise twist at the end! I didn’t see it coming! I’m sure that M. Night Shyamalan would be proud!

To sum up, if guitar playing, coffee drinking aliens and brutal but still melodic music is something you are interested in then Ziltoid The Omniscient might just be your cup of tea…umm coffee.


Rating: 4/5
Choice Lyric: “You shall fetch me your universes ultimate cup of coffee...Black! You have five Earth minutes, Make it perfect!”
Download: ZTO, Ziltoidia Attaxx!!

HIM - Venus Doom review

Release Date: 09/18/2007

Label: Sire Records

This is it! This is the HIM album all the fans are raving about! Apparently this is HIM’s best album to date! If only all fans were as easy to please as HIM fans. If this is HIM’s best work I shudder to even think what their previous albums would sound like.

HIM come from a little country called Finland. Finland is also the home of the largest, and third largest paper manufacturing companies in the world! Amazing! While HIM aren’t feasting on karjalanpiirakka (traditional Finnish pastry) they play their self proclaimed style of music, known as ‘Love Metal’. Please, if this slop is classed as metal then shoot me now! From here on it will be refered to as ‘Love Slop’. Anyway, there is one man who we can thank for bringing the world this ‘Love Slop’, and that man is Bam Margera! You see, without Bam taking an interest in the stylings of ‘Love Slop’ then HIM would still be playing small venue gigs in Helsinki! So thank you Bam…you unknowingly stabbed every metal fan in the heart!

Venus Doom is boring, slow and uneventful. Every song sounds so similar to the next that by the end of the album you just want to drink a bottle of bleech. Some fans might say, “Oh but Grox, track number five is epic, it lasts for over ten mintues!” So does the average rape attack…that doesn’t make it an enjoyable experience! There is no need for HIM to be playing ten minute songs because they don’t have enough talent to keep someones attention for that long!

The worst thing about this album has to be Ville Valo! Possibly the weakest front man ever! His vocal styling sounds a lot like a mix between a castrated goat and the machinery in a cheese factory! For christ sakes learn to hold a note….and put a fuckin shirt on! No one wants to see a skinny, pastey, white man with no shirt on not singing very well to the sound of very average music!

Rating: 0/5
Choice Lyric: “All we can do is to wail and weep to the saddest song”
Download: Don’t bother!

Dethklok - The Dethalbum review

Release Date: 09/25/2007
Label: Williams Street

Since Dethklok are a fictional band the only way to write a review would be to use fictional words to describe it. Therefore all fictional words shall be highlighted in red.

The Dethalbum is quite possibly the snopliest album of all time. From the moment you press play to the moment you press stop you are bombarded with pharmaticular bomboozlement! This album is guckly, leirstful, and absolutely poot! Considering The Dethalbum was written and recorded by only two musicians it is quite an evantlium experience. This album would make Jesus cry with its pharmaticularity.

Translation:
The Dethalbum is quite possibly the strangest album of all time. From the moment you press play to the moment you press stop you are bombarded with brutal hilarity! This album is heavy, angry and absolutely hysterical! Considering The Dethalbum was written and recorded by only two musicians it is quite a unique experience. This album would make a fictional character cry with is brutality.

In all honesty, this is not an album to be taken too seriously. While the music is brilliant at times, the lyrical content is mostly a joke. It’s an album that pokes fun at the death metal genre while still being an enjoyable death metal album. If you’re a fan of the television show ‘Metalocalypse’ you will probably like The Dethalbum. If you aren’t, then the lyrical content of this album will probably go right over your head. Either way, strap yourself in for a brutal ride!

Rating: 3/5
Choice Lyric: “You masturbate on the sheets your mothers clean for you”
Download: Mermaider, Bloodrocuted

Fall Out Boy - Infinity On High review

Release Date: 02/06/2007

Label: Mercury

I get very sick of people hating bands just because its cool to do so. Bands such as Avenged Sevenfold, Atreyu, The Used and Fall Out Boy are all getting constantly slagged because of their successful careers. Give me a reason to hate them! Don't just tell me their music is shit! Why is it shit? I can tell you now, Atreyu's music is shit because they went against their fans and tried to write to suit their record label. The Used's music is shit because they write songs to suit the current 'scene' rather than actually taking time to write GOOD music. Avenged Sevenfold aren't shit...in fact they are probably the best thing that has happened to the hard rock scene in years! And then there is Fall Out Boy....who are actually pretty damn good! Some of you metal fans out there may not like what this review is gonna say...but just read it and open your mind!

Infinity On High is far from being the greatest album of all time, but it is a fun listen. These guys do have talent despite what anyone says. Patrick Stump has a vocal ability that is sorely missed in todays rock music. Someone who can actually sing! Someone with an incredible range! And while the guitars and drums may not be groundbreaking or impossible to play....do they really need to be? I find when a guitarist tries so hard to impress the public with his awesome shredding that the song gets left behind! Its much better to have a good song than an unnecessary guitar solo.

So whats wrong with this album then? Well....I'll delve slightly deeper than just saying that they are make-up wearing emo's who only write music for teenage girls! At times Infinity On High can become rather cheesy. Usually during the slower songs. But with that said, Fall Out Boy don't seem to be the kind of band that takes themselves too seriously anyway. A bit of cheese on the side can still produce a fun listen!

So before judging this album...or any other album for that matter, just have a listen first. Don't immediately hate it just because everyone else likes it! Don't sit there and call them emo just because they have a song on MTV. Don't write a review telling me how bad it is when you have nothing to back it up! If they didn't have talent they would be unknown! Quit your complaining....you sound like an EMO!

Rating: 3/5
Choice Lyric: "crowds are won and lost and won again but our hearts beat for the diehards"

Download: Thriller, The Take Over The Breaks Over

For some inspired reading please check out the following reviews on why this album is no good!

Why The Music Industry Sucks! - Part Two

Max Martin is probably not a name you are familiar with. In fact, it’s likely that eighty percent of you have never even heard of him. Strangely enough, he is a Grammy nominated artist with a string of number one hits. So why don’t you know him? Well that’s because he is a songwriter, not a performer. He has written an extensive list of songs for artists such as Britney Spears, The Backstreet Boys, N’Sync and Bon Jovi. Songs we have all heard before…songs that we hear almost every day!

I’m going to use Britney Spears as an example here. If anyone feels the need to defend her ‘honour’ by posting a video on Youtube (ala Chris Crocker) then please do so. I would love to see it. Anyway….Britney Spears has received many awards for songs that she had no part in creating. Sure, she does have an amazing vocal talent (or did about 3 years ago) but that’s all she has. I think its time that huge name performers tried to impress their fans by actually writing their own material.

To me the most incredible part of being a musician is not only the performing, but the fact that people are singing along to a song that I created. I don’t want my fans to clap along to a song that I didn’t write the lyrics for…didn’t write the music for and was basically just told were my voice needed to go. How can you expect your fans to believe in what you are singing if you didn’t write it yourself?

Admittedly not everyone can write a song and not everyone can sing well. Therefore there will always be an over abundance of performers with no writing talent and songwriters with absolutely no vocal ability. Having a good song is just as important as having good vocal talent. So why can’t Britney change her album cover to this?
~Grox~

Foo Fighters - Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace review

Release Date: 09/25/2007

Label: RCA

Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace is defiantly not the Foo Fighters at their best, nor is it them at their worst. This would fall somewhere in the middle.

The main problem I have with this release is that most of the songs are set out in the same way. The vast majority begin softly and build slowly into a huge rock anthem. If done well this can produce an amazing song….but when its overused it becomes quite boring and predictable. Oh and what happened to Taylor Hawkins? I swear that drums only appear on about two thirds of this album. Anyway here is a brief rundown on the tracks;

The Pretender: The first single lifted from Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace. Begins with a quiet intro before launching into a very typical sounding Foo Fighters anthem.

Let It Die: Begins with just Dave and his acoustic guitar before finally blasting into a mediocre rock song at about the two and a half minute mark. Good screaming from Dave towards the end!

Erase/Replace: Quite possibly the hardest rocking track on the album. This is vintage Foo Fighters!

Long Road To Ruin: A country inspired radio-friendly soft rock track. A possible choice for a single release.

Come Alive: Another song that begins soft and slow and you only have to wait three and a half minutes before it builds to nothing special.

Stranger Things Have Happened: A weird county flavoured acoustic song featuring just Dave and his guitar. Kinda upbeat in a depressing way. Much like a drug addicted clown.

Cheer Up Boys (Your Make Up Is Running): The most radio friendly track on the album. A decent rock song with a catchy chorus. If this track isn't released as a single I owe you a Snickers*.

Summers End: Another country tasting song….but this one tastes shitty. Nothing special here!

Ballad Of The Beaconsfield Miners: Just a little acoustic instrumental diddy inspired by some trapped miners. Funky but not worth a repeat listen.

Statues: A slow tempo, boring, 70’s sounding ballad. Move on!

But Honestly: This song features one of the best guitar licks the Foo Fighters have ever done. Too bad you have to sit through the 3 minutes of crap to get there!

Home: Just Dave and a piano on this one. A sad ending to a mediocre album.

Rating: 3/5
Choice Lyric: “Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive!”
Download: Erase/Replace, Cheer Up Boys

*Snickers offered is invisible, tasteless and will be delivered directly to your digestive system upon realization of above offer. Can not be exchanged for cash or a real Snickers bar. Only available for residents of Macedonia.

Chris Volz - Redemption review

Release Date: 09/11/2007

Label: Rock Ridge Music

It’s happened so many times before…a member from a hugely successful band decides to try their luck at a solo career. In some case it works well, i.e. Eric Clapton & Phil Collins…but in other cases it’s a horrible failure i.e. Billy Corgan & any one of the Spice Girls! My guess is that Chris Volz will fall somewhere below the ‘horrible failure’ category into the ‘Why the fuck?’ category.

The main ingredient to launching a successful solo career is to have some prior success to back it up. Chris Volz came from two hugely unsuccessful bands, one which was dropped by their record label causing them to break-up (Flaw), and the other that released only one album and then decided to call it a day (Five Bolt Main). It just makes you wonder why Chris Volz thought he would have enough of a fan base to support a solo venture.

Let’s not dwell on why this album shouldn’t have been made and talk more about why this album should never be listened to. First things first….the songs on here are weak. I’ve shit better tunes than anything that appears on ‘Redemption’. There is nothing on here that you will remember….nothing new….nothing worth listening to. In fact, if you were to play this album for a person who had been deaf all of their life but was one day visited by a leprechaun who allowed them the gift of hearing for only forty minutes…they would wish those forty minutes to be over very promptly. The melodies suck, the music sucks and the vocals aren’t even as good as in his previous bands. It’s like that feeling you get when someone is talking to you about boring stuff. You stare at them blankly…you hear what they say but you just don’t take it in…nor do you give a shit. ‘Redemption’ will leave you wondering where the last forty minutes of your life went…and why you thought this album would be a good listen.

I can’t see this Chris Volz becoming the next big thing anytime in the near future. Perhaps its time for him to form another unsuccessful band. At least that way some of the shittyness can be blamed on the drummer!

Rating: 0/5
Choice Lyric: “I don’t think you really want me to go there!”
Download: ?????