The Dillinger Escape Plan - Ire Works review

Release Date: 11/13/2007

Label: Relapse

The Dillinger Escape Plan have always been a very unique band. They were the originators of mathcore, a style of metalcore recognized for a high level of technical musicianship, odd time signatures and unusual song structures. Though this may not be reason enough for people to pay them any attention, I assure you that any attention they receive is defiantly earned.

The Dillinger Escape Plan’s last album, “Miss Machine” was a huge breakthrough for the quintet but was seriously shunned by a vast majority of their long time followers. Despite the fact that “Miss Machine” was receiving five star reviews everywhere anyone was to look, fans still thought of this album as a much more watered down version of what once was. “Miss Machine” added an element to The Dillinger Escape Plan which was never their before, and that was singing. Don’t get me wrong, “Miss Machine” isn’t the kind of album you can play at the local bingo hall on senior citizens night. It’s brutal, complex and often very hard on the ears. But it’s the moments of beauty behind the madness, the contrast of beautiful and ugly that made this album so amazing.

Three years later The Dillinger Escape Plan releases their third full length album, “Ire Works”. Let me tell you, if the fans hated “Miss Machine” they are not going to be overly ecstatic about this album either. “Ire Works” is a huge step forward for The Dillinger Escape Plan. Not only does it flow in much the same vein as “Miss Machine” but it improves the formula.

Hardcore DEP is still here but the melodic aspects of “Ire Works” are absolutely amazing. This is a band that knows what they are doing, knows what they want to write and couldn’t give a damn about anyone who says it’s not what they were expecting. There is a much wider range of musical influences present on “Ire Works” than anything DEP have previously done. Therefore this album is likely to see DEP’s popularity rise once again as new fans are introduced to their unique sound. It’s time for the crying fans to except the fact that The Dillenger Escape Plan have progressed and for the better!

Rating: 5/5
Choice Lyric: “Your heart was trying to bleed and you're taking the right road if you're talking to me”
Download: Milk Lizard, Mouth Of Ghosts
Random Trivia: Their name is a reference to famous bank robber John Dillinger.

Avenged Sevenfold - Avenged Sevenfold review

Release Date: 30/10/2007

Label: Warner Bros. Records

I’ve been eagerly awaiting this album for some time now. Avenged Sevenfold have to be one of my favorite bands, and what they have done for the hard rock and metal scene of late is astounding. Sure, they have their haters! Of course they do! They were on MTV, which is a huge demerit considering they are essentially a metal band. Right? No…being popular is no reason to hate something. Metal deserves to be heard and Avenged Sevenfold are taking it to the masses!

This album is outstanding! Not only will it kick your ass all over the room but it can bring you to tears with its beautiful melodies. Avenged Sevenfold have shown some amazing growth, even more so than they showed on ‘City Of Evil’. This album really proves the talent and musicianship these guys have and it’s a sorely desired trait for a metal band to have these days.

Of course, with their popularity this album is going to raise further debate between Avenged Sevenfold’s own fans! The ones who call themselves fans but really only enjoy “Waking The Fallen”. “City Of Evil” fans will love this album while “Waking The Fallen” fans may be just as disappointed with this album as they were with the previous one. I for one love every Avenged Sevenfold album! Yes their sound has changed a bit since “Sounding The Seventh Trumpet” but its changed for the better! Their song writing has defiantly improved, now they have a broader style. Not just limiting themselves to playing heavy all the time.

So go out and buy this album. Support Avenged Sevenfold. Make them more popular! Give them more people who hate them!

Rating: 5/5
Choice Lyric: “Shh be quiet, you might piss somebody off!”
Download: A Little Piece Of Heaven, Afterlife, Dear God

Random Trivia: The album was delayed by two weeks in order to provide more time to complete bonus material and production for the record.

Alter Bridge - Blackbird review

Release Date: 10/09/2007

Label: Universal Republic Records

Alter Bridge are back with album number two…but does it deserve your attention?

I would say that minor attention is deserved. The fact is, if you liked “One Day Remains” you will probably like “Blackbird” too. Most of the songs are attacked in much the same way….although one could say this album is slightly (very slightly) heavier than their previous effort. Still, “Blackbird” rarely offers anything new to the ears. It’s the same thing Alter Bridge have been doing since “One Day Remains” which is also very similar to the thing Creed was doing before them.

So whilst listening to “Blackbird”, yes there might be a cool guitar solo there…and yes Myles Kennedy can sing some pretty amazing notes….but where’s the progress? Improve the sound! Grow!

The biggest letdown on “Blackbird”, or any Alter Bridge album, is always going to be the ballads. If there was a book called “How to write predictable soft-rock ballads for depressed teenagers with no hope for future happiness, who still live at home in the basement of their newly divorced mothers house while she constantly invites over new men, referring to them only as ‘Uncle Ted’ or ‘Uncle Susan’…For Dummies” then this would be Alter Bridge’s bible! Yes they are emotional and somewhat beautiful….but they are stale and boring…like old crackers.

All in all, if you liked “One Day Remains” then go out and buy “Blackbird”. You’ll feel exactly the same afterwards!

Oh by the way….this might be the first review of an Alter Bridge album that doesn’t mention Scott Stapp and his crappy vocals. Well…it was before I wrote that sentence…….shit!

Rating: 3/5
Choice Lyric: “The damned are done believing”
Download: Ties That Bind, Come To Life

Random Trivia: The name Alter Bridge comes from a bridge on Alter Road, close to Mark Tremonti's childhood home.

Devon Townsend - Ziltoid The Omniscient review

Release Date: 05/21/2007

Label: Hevy Devy Records

What the shit is this? In the simplest explanation I can possibly write this would be a concept album from Devon Townsend (Strapping Young Lad) about a guitar playing alien arriving on Earth in search of the perfect cup of coffee. So you know…the usual kind of thing. I haven’t really heard anything like this before. In fact, one could say this is one of the most elaborate concept albums of all time…even if the story is kind of lame.

Devon Townsend takes care of all the writing, production and mixing as well as playing all instruments…besides the drums which he did program! The funny thing is, as lame as I thought this album was going to be it actual works! While the story may be a joke the music side of it certainly is not. Devon combines elements of all his previous work creating an album which at times can be brutally heavy while still leaving moments of beautiful atmospheric melody. All the songs fit together perfectly and along with the included booklet it’s quite easy to be sucked in with the story. Also, top marks must be given to Mr Townsend for creating a concept album with a surprise twist at the end! I didn’t see it coming! I’m sure that M. Night Shyamalan would be proud!

To sum up, if guitar playing, coffee drinking aliens and brutal but still melodic music is something you are interested in then Ziltoid The Omniscient might just be your cup of tea…umm coffee.


Rating: 4/5
Choice Lyric: “You shall fetch me your universes ultimate cup of coffee...Black! You have five Earth minutes, Make it perfect!”
Download: ZTO, Ziltoidia Attaxx!!

HIM - Venus Doom review

Release Date: 09/18/2007

Label: Sire Records

This is it! This is the HIM album all the fans are raving about! Apparently this is HIM’s best album to date! If only all fans were as easy to please as HIM fans. If this is HIM’s best work I shudder to even think what their previous albums would sound like.

HIM come from a little country called Finland. Finland is also the home of the largest, and third largest paper manufacturing companies in the world! Amazing! While HIM aren’t feasting on karjalanpiirakka (traditional Finnish pastry) they play their self proclaimed style of music, known as ‘Love Metal’. Please, if this slop is classed as metal then shoot me now! From here on it will be refered to as ‘Love Slop’. Anyway, there is one man who we can thank for bringing the world this ‘Love Slop’, and that man is Bam Margera! You see, without Bam taking an interest in the stylings of ‘Love Slop’ then HIM would still be playing small venue gigs in Helsinki! So thank you Bam…you unknowingly stabbed every metal fan in the heart!

Venus Doom is boring, slow and uneventful. Every song sounds so similar to the next that by the end of the album you just want to drink a bottle of bleech. Some fans might say, “Oh but Grox, track number five is epic, it lasts for over ten mintues!” So does the average rape attack…that doesn’t make it an enjoyable experience! There is no need for HIM to be playing ten minute songs because they don’t have enough talent to keep someones attention for that long!

The worst thing about this album has to be Ville Valo! Possibly the weakest front man ever! His vocal styling sounds a lot like a mix between a castrated goat and the machinery in a cheese factory! For christ sakes learn to hold a note….and put a fuckin shirt on! No one wants to see a skinny, pastey, white man with no shirt on not singing very well to the sound of very average music!

Rating: 0/5
Choice Lyric: “All we can do is to wail and weep to the saddest song”
Download: Don’t bother!

Dethklok - The Dethalbum review

Release Date: 09/25/2007
Label: Williams Street

Since Dethklok are a fictional band the only way to write a review would be to use fictional words to describe it. Therefore all fictional words shall be highlighted in red.

The Dethalbum is quite possibly the snopliest album of all time. From the moment you press play to the moment you press stop you are bombarded with pharmaticular bomboozlement! This album is guckly, leirstful, and absolutely poot! Considering The Dethalbum was written and recorded by only two musicians it is quite an evantlium experience. This album would make Jesus cry with its pharmaticularity.

Translation:
The Dethalbum is quite possibly the strangest album of all time. From the moment you press play to the moment you press stop you are bombarded with brutal hilarity! This album is heavy, angry and absolutely hysterical! Considering The Dethalbum was written and recorded by only two musicians it is quite a unique experience. This album would make a fictional character cry with is brutality.

In all honesty, this is not an album to be taken too seriously. While the music is brilliant at times, the lyrical content is mostly a joke. It’s an album that pokes fun at the death metal genre while still being an enjoyable death metal album. If you’re a fan of the television show ‘Metalocalypse’ you will probably like The Dethalbum. If you aren’t, then the lyrical content of this album will probably go right over your head. Either way, strap yourself in for a brutal ride!

Rating: 3/5
Choice Lyric: “You masturbate on the sheets your mothers clean for you”
Download: Mermaider, Bloodrocuted

Fall Out Boy - Infinity On High review

Release Date: 02/06/2007

Label: Mercury

I get very sick of people hating bands just because its cool to do so. Bands such as Avenged Sevenfold, Atreyu, The Used and Fall Out Boy are all getting constantly slagged because of their successful careers. Give me a reason to hate them! Don't just tell me their music is shit! Why is it shit? I can tell you now, Atreyu's music is shit because they went against their fans and tried to write to suit their record label. The Used's music is shit because they write songs to suit the current 'scene' rather than actually taking time to write GOOD music. Avenged Sevenfold aren't shit...in fact they are probably the best thing that has happened to the hard rock scene in years! And then there is Fall Out Boy....who are actually pretty damn good! Some of you metal fans out there may not like what this review is gonna say...but just read it and open your mind!

Infinity On High is far from being the greatest album of all time, but it is a fun listen. These guys do have talent despite what anyone says. Patrick Stump has a vocal ability that is sorely missed in todays rock music. Someone who can actually sing! Someone with an incredible range! And while the guitars and drums may not be groundbreaking or impossible to play....do they really need to be? I find when a guitarist tries so hard to impress the public with his awesome shredding that the song gets left behind! Its much better to have a good song than an unnecessary guitar solo.

So whats wrong with this album then? Well....I'll delve slightly deeper than just saying that they are make-up wearing emo's who only write music for teenage girls! At times Infinity On High can become rather cheesy. Usually during the slower songs. But with that said, Fall Out Boy don't seem to be the kind of band that takes themselves too seriously anyway. A bit of cheese on the side can still produce a fun listen!

So before judging this album...or any other album for that matter, just have a listen first. Don't immediately hate it just because everyone else likes it! Don't sit there and call them emo just because they have a song on MTV. Don't write a review telling me how bad it is when you have nothing to back it up! If they didn't have talent they would be unknown! Quit your complaining....you sound like an EMO!

Rating: 3/5
Choice Lyric: "crowds are won and lost and won again but our hearts beat for the diehards"

Download: Thriller, The Take Over The Breaks Over

For some inspired reading please check out the following reviews on why this album is no good!

Why The Music Industry Sucks! - Part Two

Max Martin is probably not a name you are familiar with. In fact, it’s likely that eighty percent of you have never even heard of him. Strangely enough, he is a Grammy nominated artist with a string of number one hits. So why don’t you know him? Well that’s because he is a songwriter, not a performer. He has written an extensive list of songs for artists such as Britney Spears, The Backstreet Boys, N’Sync and Bon Jovi. Songs we have all heard before…songs that we hear almost every day!

I’m going to use Britney Spears as an example here. If anyone feels the need to defend her ‘honour’ by posting a video on Youtube (ala Chris Crocker) then please do so. I would love to see it. Anyway….Britney Spears has received many awards for songs that she had no part in creating. Sure, she does have an amazing vocal talent (or did about 3 years ago) but that’s all she has. I think its time that huge name performers tried to impress their fans by actually writing their own material.

To me the most incredible part of being a musician is not only the performing, but the fact that people are singing along to a song that I created. I don’t want my fans to clap along to a song that I didn’t write the lyrics for…didn’t write the music for and was basically just told were my voice needed to go. How can you expect your fans to believe in what you are singing if you didn’t write it yourself?

Admittedly not everyone can write a song and not everyone can sing well. Therefore there will always be an over abundance of performers with no writing talent and songwriters with absolutely no vocal ability. Having a good song is just as important as having good vocal talent. So why can’t Britney change her album cover to this?
~Grox~

Foo Fighters - Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace review

Release Date: 09/25/2007

Label: RCA

Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace is defiantly not the Foo Fighters at their best, nor is it them at their worst. This would fall somewhere in the middle.

The main problem I have with this release is that most of the songs are set out in the same way. The vast majority begin softly and build slowly into a huge rock anthem. If done well this can produce an amazing song….but when its overused it becomes quite boring and predictable. Oh and what happened to Taylor Hawkins? I swear that drums only appear on about two thirds of this album. Anyway here is a brief rundown on the tracks;

The Pretender: The first single lifted from Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace. Begins with a quiet intro before launching into a very typical sounding Foo Fighters anthem.

Let It Die: Begins with just Dave and his acoustic guitar before finally blasting into a mediocre rock song at about the two and a half minute mark. Good screaming from Dave towards the end!

Erase/Replace: Quite possibly the hardest rocking track on the album. This is vintage Foo Fighters!

Long Road To Ruin: A country inspired radio-friendly soft rock track. A possible choice for a single release.

Come Alive: Another song that begins soft and slow and you only have to wait three and a half minutes before it builds to nothing special.

Stranger Things Have Happened: A weird county flavoured acoustic song featuring just Dave and his guitar. Kinda upbeat in a depressing way. Much like a drug addicted clown.

Cheer Up Boys (Your Make Up Is Running): The most radio friendly track on the album. A decent rock song with a catchy chorus. If this track isn't released as a single I owe you a Snickers*.

Summers End: Another country tasting song….but this one tastes shitty. Nothing special here!

Ballad Of The Beaconsfield Miners: Just a little acoustic instrumental diddy inspired by some trapped miners. Funky but not worth a repeat listen.

Statues: A slow tempo, boring, 70’s sounding ballad. Move on!

But Honestly: This song features one of the best guitar licks the Foo Fighters have ever done. Too bad you have to sit through the 3 minutes of crap to get there!

Home: Just Dave and a piano on this one. A sad ending to a mediocre album.

Rating: 3/5
Choice Lyric: “Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive, Come alive!”
Download: Erase/Replace, Cheer Up Boys

*Snickers offered is invisible, tasteless and will be delivered directly to your digestive system upon realization of above offer. Can not be exchanged for cash or a real Snickers bar. Only available for residents of Macedonia.

Chris Volz - Redemption review

Release Date: 09/11/2007

Label: Rock Ridge Music

It’s happened so many times before…a member from a hugely successful band decides to try their luck at a solo career. In some case it works well, i.e. Eric Clapton & Phil Collins…but in other cases it’s a horrible failure i.e. Billy Corgan & any one of the Spice Girls! My guess is that Chris Volz will fall somewhere below the ‘horrible failure’ category into the ‘Why the fuck?’ category.

The main ingredient to launching a successful solo career is to have some prior success to back it up. Chris Volz came from two hugely unsuccessful bands, one which was dropped by their record label causing them to break-up (Flaw), and the other that released only one album and then decided to call it a day (Five Bolt Main). It just makes you wonder why Chris Volz thought he would have enough of a fan base to support a solo venture.

Let’s not dwell on why this album shouldn’t have been made and talk more about why this album should never be listened to. First things first….the songs on here are weak. I’ve shit better tunes than anything that appears on ‘Redemption’. There is nothing on here that you will remember….nothing new….nothing worth listening to. In fact, if you were to play this album for a person who had been deaf all of their life but was one day visited by a leprechaun who allowed them the gift of hearing for only forty minutes…they would wish those forty minutes to be over very promptly. The melodies suck, the music sucks and the vocals aren’t even as good as in his previous bands. It’s like that feeling you get when someone is talking to you about boring stuff. You stare at them blankly…you hear what they say but you just don’t take it in…nor do you give a shit. ‘Redemption’ will leave you wondering where the last forty minutes of your life went…and why you thought this album would be a good listen.

I can’t see this Chris Volz becoming the next big thing anytime in the near future. Perhaps its time for him to form another unsuccessful band. At least that way some of the shittyness can be blamed on the drummer!

Rating: 0/5
Choice Lyric: “I don’t think you really want me to go there!”
Download: ?????

The Used - Lies For The Liars review

Release Date: 05/22/2007

Label: Reprise Records

Like we really needed to hear another album by another band that sounds the same as everyone else these days. But I guess The Used were one of the first to utilize this particular style of music so I should give them a chance.

Lies For The Liars actually isn’t as bad as I was expecting it to be. That’s not to say that its good, but I was expecting a steaming pile of shit and I only got a couple of nuggets. There are tracks on here that are almost enjoyable. Take for instance the love cats-esque ‘Paralyzed’. The only track on Lies For The Liars that is somewhat memorable.

In fact the first eight tracks on here could be considered listenable. It’s when the album decides to tone down and play some soppy bullshit that this CD becomes a Frisbee. Tracks like Earthquake and the very cringe-worthy Smother Me make this album what it is……EMO CRAP!!!!

This album is probably worth a download….but defiantly not worth buying unless you’re already a fan of The Used. And if your are already a fan of The Used….try listening to something better!

Rating: 2/5
Choice Lyric: “Time Kills, Go ask Jesus”
Download: Paralyzed

Tomahawk - Anonymous review

Release Date: 06/19/2007

Label: Ipecac Recordings

Lets start this by saying I love Mike Patton’s work. He is doing things with music that most people wouldn’t even dream of doing. With countless projects up his sleeve it was only a matter of time before they all sounded the same.

Tomahawk have often been referred to as Mike Patton’s most accessible band….The only project of his that has any chance of receiving radio airplay. If I were reviewing their first two albums then that statement would be correct. Unfortunately I sit here with Anonymous in my hands.

Everyone knows what they are getting into when buying anything involving Mike Patton. It’s usually not going to be an easy listen. It will be unpredictable and harsh. But when picking up a Tomahawk album you would at least think it would still sound similar to the previous two. Anonymous is not a Tomahawk album. Tomahawk write songs. There are no songs on this album, just little chants and jingles. This plays more like a Fantomas album.

That’s not to say that this isn’t good stuff. If you like Native American music blended with a bit of hard rock then this album is definitely for you! It is good in its own right…but maybe should not have been labelled a Tomahawk album. Why not add one more project to his already extensive list and create a band that play Native American music? That way we could avoid disappointment when purchasing this album expecting to hear actual songs.

So now Mike Patton’s most accessible band would have to be the largely Hip-Hop influenced Peeping Tom. God help us all!

Rating: 2/5
Choice Lyric: “Asgaya agi'a gihli”
Download: Mescal Rite 1

Karnivool - Themata review

Release Date: 04/10/2007
Label: Bieler Bros. Records

This album proves exactly why the music industry sucks! What we have here is possibly one of the most enjoyable listens you will ever experience…and yet, most of you have probably never even heard of Karnivool. Granted, they are from Australia which probably doesn’t help much, but even in their home country they are relatively unknown. That’s not to say they don’t have a large fan base. In fact they do have a huge loyal following of fans. But as for media attention…..as always it’s very minimal. Therefore even most Australians will look at you like you just cursed at them if you even mention the word Themata.

So why wont radio or television stations play Karnivool? That’s a tough question to answer. Upon listening to Themata there really is nothing on this album that wouldn’t fit on a radio stations playlist. It is heavy but it’s not offensively heavy. There is no screaming, no cursing and no lyrics telling you to burn down your school. So what’s the problem? Well, it’s like this. Most radio stations will only play music that has already seen some form of success, therefore guaranteeing that their listeners will not switch to another station. But how does music get major success? From being played on the radio. It’s a cycle that consumes struggling bands wanting to make it big. A cycle that I will call ‘The Gay Radio Principle’.

But enough about ‘The Gay Radio Principle’, lets talk about Themata. This album has everything a hard-rock fan could want. Brutal guitar riffs, odd time signatures, drumming beyond belief and the most amazing emotional vocals you will probably hear all year. Every track on this album has something new to offer, from the heaviness of ‘Roquefort’, to the soft and emotional ‘Sewn & Silent’. Nothing on here will disappoint.

Do yourself a favour. Go out and buy Themata today! Support a band that actually deserves it! If you won’t take my word for it then simply download this rare torrent of Karnivool covering ‘Sleeping Satellite’ and prepare to be amazed.


Rating: 5/5
Choice Lyric: "It's so good to see this world is a lie"
Download: Roquefort, Shutterspeed

Dream Theater - Systematic Choas review

Release Date: 06/05/2007
Label: Roadrunner Records

Like most Dream Theater albums I listen to there is really nothing on this disc that jumps out at me. Sure, Dream Theater have had some unbelievably well constructed songs but sometimes it’s just a little too much. It’s like having a monkey (which is good), putting him on a unicycle (which is better), making him juggle bananas (which is unbeatably hilarious) and then lighting those bananas on fire (just plain unnecessary). Too much of a good thing never works out like it should.

So for the first 7 hours of song one you are going to hear a technically brilliant, well structured, flowing song that doesn’t really offer anything more than a “Woah these guys sure can play their selected instruments quite well” reaction. It’s all good, but it gets too much!

I know Dream Theater fans are going to hate this comment but maybe shortening the songs would be a good idea. At times it seems like Dream Theater are making every song reach the eight minute mark just because they can. At times you may find yourself wishing for a song to end so you can hear the next one that you’ll wish would end too.

Systematic Chaos is a good album. It’s defiantly still the Dream Theater we all know. But just for once I want to put on a Dream Theater album and be blown away by more than just good musicianship! I want something unexpected. Maybe a country song thrown into the mix??? Maybe not……Surprise me Dream Theater!

Rating: 3/5
Choice Lyric: “I once thought it better to regret things that I have done when haven't”
Download: In the Presence of Enemies Pt. 1

Why The Music Industry Sucks! - Part One

I was watching a television show today. It was one of those music shows where you can make requests for them to play what you want to see. What a great concept for a show! If only the general public weren’t such narrow-minded idiots!

Essentially we have a television program which allows us to view and hear music that we probably don’t get to hear very often because radio stations and such wont play it. So therefore seeing songs by 40 Below Summer, Sikth, Breed 77 and other great bands that don’t get the airplay they deserve is possible. So why is it that whenever I turn on this program I am bombarded with the same shit I hear everyday? Why would anybody request ‘Fergalicious’ when you can simply turn on the radio and hear it anyway? Why waste your time writing, emailing or SMS-ing your request…and more importantly why waste your money?

The problem with music these days is that people only want to hear stuff that they have heard before! There are millions upon millions of great bands who will never be heard because they simply cannot get little Sammy to spend the 55cents to request their music because little Sammy, being the narrow-minded little shit that he is, would rather hear ‘Smack That’ instead.

Some people might sit there and blame this on the television station. Yes I'm sure that they do receive hundreds of requests a week for songs that aren’t usually on their playlists and choose not to play them. But the fact remains….if people didn’t change the channel every time they heard something unfamiliar to them, then the television station wouldn’t choose to play the same songs everyday!

So next time you happen to be watching your music channel….if you hear something you’ve never heard before…give it a chance! And for Christ sakes request a song that isn’t in the top 100! Its time to expand the worlds taste in music!

~Grox~

Down III - Over The Under review

Release Date: 09/25/2007
Label: Independant

It has been five years since the last album by Down and they sure have progressed a lot since then! Over The Under is the most satisfying surprise I’ve had all year! I went in with the lowest of expectations. Down’s second album, ‘A Bustle In Your Hedgerow’ did nothing for me, and recent supergroups (cough cough Hellyeah) haven’t released anything worth listening to.

Over The Under is the balls! It’s an album full of huge, dirty guitar riffs…thundering drums…and lyrics filled with anger! With songs inspired by the aftermath of hurricane Katrina and the death of former Pantera/Damageplan guitarist Dimebag Darrell, you know this album is going to kick your ass. But it’s so much more than just a good boot up the bum. It has emotion, it has melody and most important of all it has replay value.

This is the kind of album you put on when you need to get fired up! Something to listen to before an important sporting event, or whilst strapped to the hood of a car on the freeway, with no clothes on, $2 worth of change in your mouth and a monkey behind the wheel.

It seems that Down spent a lot more time on this album then they did with ‘A Bustle In Your Hedgerow’. With the success I expect this album to achieve we might see Down become more than just a side project. Definitely a contender for Best album of 2007!

Rating: 5/5
Choice Lyric: “There's no such thing as a good time for bad luck”
Download: 3 Suns And 1 Star, Never Try

Minus The Bear - Planet Of Ice review

Release Date: 08/21/2007
Label: Suicide Squeeze

I’m in a love/hate relationship with this album. On one hand, I don’t particularly enjoy the songs…but on the other, I can’t stop listening to it. It’s kind of like becoming friends with a red-haired kid. You hate everything that he is and everything that he stands for….but he does have an Xbox!

There is no particular high point of this album, as there is also no particular low point. The only way to describe Planet Of Ice is that it’s an album of well written songs that are not very good. I have never had so much trouble trying to review an album before so I’m going to try something different. The following is my thought process upon listening to the first track of Planet Of Ice.

“Ok, this sounds alright…kinda psychedelic and funky………..ok getting a bit bored with that part now….alright, not a bad chorus….oh, back to that boring bit again….hmm I wonder what time Al Gore goes to sleep at night….Ohh that’s a cool bit!.........wonder if he wears pyjamas……or boxers….or briefs….not sure how he feels about cotton….probably contributes to global warming somehow….maybe he wears nothing….for the safety of the planet and our future generations….what a considerate thing to do….yeah....Al Gore sleeps naked to protect humanity!........I wonder who would win in a fight between Superman and Al Gore…..I mean, superman has his incredible strength and ability to fly….but Al Gore is naked…and he has the power of carbon balancing……oh crap the song is over now…..better listen to it again.”

And that my friends, is the experience you will have with Planet Of Ice. It’s not particularly good, but it begs you to listen to it again to find out what you missed while you were drifting off. It’s a unique listen and you’ve probably got nothing better to do anyway!

Rating: 3/5
Choice Lyric: “Touch me sweet forget the rest. Your hooks feel so right, dug in my chest”
Download: Burying Luck, Dr. L'Ling

Grinspoon - Alibis & Other Lies review

Release Date: 07/21/2007
Label: Universal Records

For their fifth album, Grinspoon have decided to follow in the success of other Australian bands such as Jet and Wolfmother, by writing a more simplistic rock album….as apposed to one that is actually any good. Alibis and Other Lies seems like a very safe album to make and frankly not what I was expecting from ‘The Grinners”

I remember when I first heard Guide To Better Living (Grinspoon’s first major CD) and it absolutely rocked. It was edgy, it was harsh at times and it was fairly unique. Five albums later and we have Alibis and Other Lies, which has nothing unique about it and very little that actually sounds like Grinspoon. To top it all off, this album is delicately sprinkled with soft ballads that, while sometimes are kinda cool, get quite annoying after the third one. If I wanted a CD full of 70’s rock and soft ballads then I would probably go out and buy Mr. Big’s greatest hits!

It’s not all bad. Alibis and Other Lies is listenable. You could easily put it on and get through the entire CD without wanting to switch it off. But that’s not what I want from a Grinspoon CD. I want to move to it. I want to jump! I want to punch the passenger in my car who just happens to be in there while I’m listening to it. With this CD I may find myself holding my passengers hand, stroking their hair gently while whispering softly in their ear, “This album really blows. Let’s go get a latte sometime.”

This will no doubt see Grinspoon get the minor Australian success and the non-existent international success that they have always had, but it’s doubtful it will get them anymore than what they already have. I for one will not be at the next Grinspoon show because I’m afraid my lighter will not have enough gas to last through all those ballads. BRING BACK THE ROCK!

Rating: 2/5
Choice Lyric: "When you came first in Little Athletics, I was so jealous that I had a tantrum"
Download: What You Got, Minute By Minute

Machine Head - The Blackening review

Release Date: 03/27/2007
Label: Roadrunner Records

I’ve been a fan of Machine Head for a long time now. The first thing I heard said about this album was “It’s a total return to form!” I hear that so often about so many different bands these days that I decided not to let myself get too excited. After all….remember when Metallica returned to form with St. Anger?

Anyways after listening to this album I have to agree…it is a return to form! But is that a good thing? Burn My Eyes was an awesome album in 1994 and The More Things Change was an awesome album in 1997. The Blackening would be an awesome album if it was released in 2001. That’s not to say that The Blackening is a bad album….far from it actually. It’s just that when a band decides to return to form they should also allow for some progression in their sound. Don’t return to the exact same thing you were doing 13 years earlier. Grow up with your fan base!

Although The Blackening seems a little dated at times there are a few gems that stand out! One such gem being ‘Halo’. This is what the album should sound like after all these years. It mixes old Machine Head with new Machine Head and it really works! It’s basically the only song on the album that doesn’t sound like the rest of them.

So in summary, yes I do like this album. I just believe that Machine Head should stop worrying about what people have been saying about them for their last few albums and write the music they want to write. If The Blackening is the music they want to write, then it’s about time Machine Head grew up.

Rating: 4/5
Choice Lyric: “An ugly truth, put forth by our youth”
Download: Halo

Atreyu - Lead Sails Paper Anchor review

Release Date: 08/28/2007

Label: Hollywood Records

Sell-out is a term that gets thrown around so much these days. For those who don't know, selling out refers to the compromising of one's integrity, morality and principles in exchange for money, success or other personal gain. I hate the word sell-out as hard rock fans tend to use it without fully understanding its meaning. These days I hear a lot of people complaining that "metal and hard rock music deserves to be heard!", "Why won't radio stations play "Submerged in Boiling Flesh" by Cannibal Corpse? It rocks!". Yet as soon as a hard rock/metal band receives the slightest bit of success and radio airplay they are immediately labelled as sell-outs and are forever hated by the hard rock community. Hard rock is the only genre that loves to shoot itself in the foot. "It's no longer cool to buy an Avenged Sevenfold CD as they had a song on MTV, so therefore owning that particular CD would mean you also like that shitty song by Paris Hilton because i saw that on the same channel a couple of weeks earlier!" Bullshit! It is quite common for people to confuse 'selling-out' with natural artistic development.

With that all said, Atreyu are the biggest sell-outs I have ever encountered. Don't get me wrong, Lead Sails Paper Anchor still smells like the same shit Atreyu have been throwing at me for years now....it's just a bit more watered down. And we all know that watery shit equals a fucking mess! Atreyu built a huge fan base with their metalcore sound and their ability to merge harsh screaming verses with melodically sung choruses. Where did that go? Now we are forced to listen to diluted metalcore which at times often sounds like soft rock There is not one song on this album that wouldn't snugly fit beside the latest Christina Aguilera hit on 'American Top 40 with Ryan Seacrest'. So you've got to ask yourself....why would a band do this to their fan base?

Let me tell you a story about a tiny company you've probably never heard of...Disney. Now this tiny company owns a record label known as Hollywood Records. In November of 2006, Hollywood Records decided to sign Atreyu along side their other hard rock artists such as Hilary Duff, Jesse McCartney and The Indigo Girls. Along came a talking mouse named Mickey, who said to Atreyu "please write only wussy, gay music when you are on my label!" And from this came Lead Sails Paper Anchor.

To conclude, if you we're previously a fan of Atreyu this album will most likely disappoint you enough to kill every talking mouse you encounter for the rest of your life. And if your new to Atreyu...start with this album and you won't waste your time working your way through their back catalog.

Rating: 1/5
Choice Lyric: "I'm bidding farewell to all that is safe"
Download: Becoming The Bull

(hed) p.e - Insomnia review

Release Date: 07/17/2007

Label: Suburban Noize Records

(hed) p.e's style of music can be quite hard to categorize. Much like a donkey can be quite hard to play Canasta with. I'm gonna go ahead and label it 'hard rock-izzle', or 'H-Rizzle' for short. The intriguing blend of hard rock and rap. Many bands have done it before....very few have lasted. But with 13 years and 7 albums up their sleeves it seems (hed) p.e wont give up on a dying sub-genre.

Insomnia is an album full of political rants and lyrical content that just begs to be taken seriously. Its kinda hard to do that when its slapped up next to a song which begins with the inspiring lyrics, "I'm fascinated with pussy". Don't get me wrong, I also am quite intrigued by the female reproductive system but probably won't mention it whilst attempting to hold a serious conversation. But lets face it...if they weren't to mention topics such as sex, drugs and living on the mean streets of "Cali", there would be a little too much hard rock and not enough rap.

If all it took to create 'H-Rizzle' was to smack some lyrics about drugs over the top of some hard rock instrumentation then we'd probably see a lot more of these bands popping up. Luckily there is more to it. You still need to keep some of the urban grooves....some of the funk....some of the phat ass beats. And (hed) p.e are certainly not short of phat ass beats. But upon listening to the album i remembered a thing my mother used to tell me when i was young. She said "Son, if you ever want to create music that merges the edginess of hard rock with the phat ass beats of rap then make sure you can seamlessly blend the two together!" I always thought she was crazy, but after listening to Insomnia i realized she was totally out of her mind....but she had a point. Why merge two totally different styles if you can't do it right? The song writing process often seems like they had a good idea going....realized they hadn't incorporated the other style for approximately 1 minute...so just smacked it in where ever they could. No blending, no smoothness...nothing! It is quite possible that this was intended....maybe this is what (hed) p.e wanted to achieve. Maybe writing music this way would be considered 'original' and 'unique'. Or maybe they realised that they hadn't released an album for 12 months so better slap one together as quick as possible.

Despite all that I've said, if you get past the cheesy lyrics and the seemingly rushed song writing, then this album is actually quite a fun listen. Nothing that's going to make (hed) p.e number one on the charts, but just some good old fun. My only advice to (hed) p.e is to take some time on the next album...wait a few more months, perfect the songs before throwing them onto a CD. There is potential here for something good....not great...but good! And in the words of (hed) p.e themselves, "Its funk dude, nigga bring me the doctor". Amen brother!

Rating: 2.5/5
Choice lyric: "Daddy you drive me crazy, daddy lets make some babies"
Download: Walk On By, Suffa

Drowning Pool - Full Circle review

Release Date: 08/07/2007

Label: Eleven Seven Records

I put this CD in my stereo with low expectations. I've always wanted to like Drowning Pool right from the start. I hear a song of theirs that I like and instantly I think the entire CD will be just as good. It never is! So with these thoughts I placed the album slowly into my CD player and.....SHIT!

This album seriously brings the meh! I gave it several listens through and still nothing has grabbed my attention. Ryan McCombs vocals just seem to drone on like a million sleeping bagpipe players. I'm not entirely sure why everyone gives him such praise. I'd rather listen to my grandmother tell stories of how much she could purchase with a nickle in 1904. The strange thing is....I kinda like Soil. His vocals weren't as bowel wrenching back then. It might be the production, it might be the microphone he was using or it might be that his vocals simply don't mix well with Drowning Pool's mediocre song writing. Whatever it is, Full Circle is a step back for everyone involved.

There is a formula I like to call VCVCBC, which stands for Verse/Chorus/Verse/Chorus/Bridge/Chorus. Its probably the most standard, overused song writing formula ever! All your favourites use this method of songwriting....Backstreet Boys, Hanson, Vanilla Ice. It's tried, it's tested and its been around forever. So when listening to Full Circle, play a game i created which is called "Pick the song that doesn't stick to the most basic of song writing formulas!" It's actually quite fun but extremely hard! And the good thing is....if you play with a friend....YOU BOTH WIN! That's because there is not one song that doesn't use this method, which by the end of the album leaves a bland taste in your mouth...much like a 2am cheeseburger from McDonalds.

Drowning Pool have always been one of those bands that have just kind of lingered around. You know that they are there but they just don't really deserve your attention. Step up Drowning Pool!

Rating: 1/5
Choice Lyric: "I've come to fall back down now"
Download: 37 Stitches

Trivium - The Crusade review

Release Date: 10/10/2006

Label: Roadrunner Records

Wow! The new Metallica album sure is a return to form! This is Metallica at their best! They have finally returned to their brilliant 'Master of Puppets' days!

If you wish the above statement was true...it can be. Here is what i did. Take a pen. Cross out the word Trivium from the album cover. Replace with the word Metallica. And voilà you have Metallica's latest album 'The Crusade'!

I'm not exactly sure when Matt Heafy woke up and realised he was James Hetfield trapped in a half American/half Japanese boys body, but it was sometime between the recording of
'Ascendancy' and the writing of 'The Crusade'. I absolutely love Metallica, and I'm a big fan of Trivium too but when did they become the same band?

So, your probably wondering if the album is any good. The sad truth is....yes...it actually is quite good. It starts off hard and won't stop until the end. It grabs you by the balls and twists them until you beg it to stop! And then....'The Anthem (we are the fire)' breaks down into the laughable "Woah-Oh, woooah-ooh!" bit and it somewhat releases your balls and gives them a gentle tickle. At which point you think...why the hell would someone put something so cheesy in an otherwise great song? Who knows? But it has become my most skip-able song of the week! Congratulations Triviumallica...Trivallica....Metrivium....ahh who gives a shit?

Rating: 4/5
Choice Lyric: "Woah-Oh, woooah-ooh!"
Download: Entrance of the Conflagration, Detonation