Grox Music Reviews - The only opinion that matters is mine!: Metallica

Release Date: 09/12/2008
Label: Warner Bros. Records

The vast majority of Metallica “fans” already hated this album long before its release date. Internet message boards have been clogged with the faint squeals of these nerds saying “Metallica is dead”, “They haven’t been good since Justice”, “To convert to a level three monk you need the blue key!”, the usual dribble that comes prior to any Metallica release.

So why do these so called fans still buy the album as soon as it hits stores? Because there’s probably nothing good on TV anyway...and it is a perfect excuse to walk off the deep vein thrombosis and see the suns natural light gently cascade over their freakishly white skin...if only for the few minutes it takes for them to drag themselves to the music store. But is there any chance that these abominations of human beings could be right this time?

Of course fucking not!! This is Metallica’s best work since “Master Of Puppets” and its only let down is its lousy mixing and mastering. Why on earth would anyone want an album so loud that the snare drum distorts? It makes no sense to me! But at least it beats the production value of 2003’s “St. Anger”.

The songs on “Death Magnetic” are awesome. Plenty of changes and yes, the guitar solos are back! “That Was Just Your Life” has fast become, not only my favourite song from this album, but Metallica’s entire career! Yes I’m comparing it to the likes of “Master Of Puppets”, but this album has something that “Master Of Puppets” didn’t have. A big fucking groove! There are countless moments on “Death Magnetic” where you will find yourself jumping, headbanging and dancing along to the fat riffs largely inspired by Rob Trujillo’s new influence on the band. It’s just a shame that in production his bass has become barely audible.

So in conclusion all you message board nerds who don’t have “Death Magnetic” yet, wash your retainers, polish your booger picking fingers, put on your coke bottle glasses and rainbow suspenders, pull your pants up as high as you can and get your white ass to the record store now! You will not be disappointed....but I’m sure we will all hear about it if you are!

Rating: 5/5

Choice Lyric: “See through the skin the bones they all rattle !”
Download: That Was Just Your Life, The Day That Never Comes
Random Trivia: Death Magnetic sold 490,000 copies in just three days of availability